Living as a Kinship Carer
Managing Contact (family time)
It is important for children living with kinship carers to stay in touch with their birth family. Seeing their parents, brothers, sisters, and other relatives can help children feel safe and understand who they are. These family ties help them feel like they belong and can make them feel stronger. Keeping in contact, when it is safe, is good for their feelings and helps them grow up well.
Sharing Past Experiences
Becoming a kinship carer can change your life and your family’s life. You might feel worried about the child and have strong feelings about what has happened to them. You also care deeply about the child and want to protect them.
Having close relationships helps everyone feel safe and supported. Sometimes, children do not understand why they are living with you, and they may come up with their own ideas, which might be wrong. If you talk to them about why they are with you, it can help them feel safer and strengthen your family relationships.
Developmental Trauma
Sometimes, children who live with kinship carers have been through hard times in the past. This can mean losing someone close to them, feeling unsafe, or not having a grown-up to look after them properly. These challenging experiences are called Developmental Trauma or Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). Going through things like this can change how their brain develops and can make it harder for them to learn, behave well, and stay healthy as they grow up.
- Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): Impact on brain, body and behaviour
Therapeutic Parenting
Therapeutic Parenting means understanding that when a child behaves in a certain way, it is often because of how they feel inside. By setting clear rules and showing kindness, you help the child feel like they are part of the family. This makes them feel safe and can help stop them from feeling bad about themselves. It also helps them trust their kinship carer and feel closer to them.
Financial Support
If the council has asked you to care for a child, you might get money each week to help you. How much you get depends on how much money you earn, and they check this every year. If you have any questions about money, you can email the finance team at CS.FinancialAssessments@eastsussex.gov.uk. Remember to tell them if your money or address changes.
If you are a Special Guardian, you can get the same help and support as birth parents. For free and private advice about help for your family, you can call the East Sussex Welfare Benefits Helpline at 0333 344 0681 or email benefitseastsussex@harcuk.com.
Education
The Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL) is someone at school who helps children who are in care or used to be in care. If your child was looked after by someone else before, you can talk to the DSL at their school if you need help or have questions.
The Virtual School can help kinship carers with advice about children’s learning. You can phone them on 01323 464 630.
