Introducing adoptive families to children

Introducing children and their new parents is the first stage in a relationship that is hoped to last for life. Getting it right is important to us and introductions should never be rushed. First meetings can help the bonding process to develop but if not handled correctly they can slow its progress. Introductions need to be planned carefully around the time that a match is agreed. These take place at an introduction planning meeting.

What is an introduction planning meeting?

The aim of the introduction meetings is to make the child and the new family feel comfortable and have time to get to know each other. This gives a child, the foster or new, permanent family opportunities to exchange information about the child’s day-to-day care and routine.

Who is involved?

The introduction planning meeting includes the foster carers, adopters and the child’s current family’s social worker. The meeting is chaired by a senior member of staff from the Adoption and Permanence Team.

How long will the introductions take?

The introduction process varies from child to child. Our experience shows that:

• a child aged one year and under needs up to seven days approximately and less if the child is a newborn.
• a toddler aged one to three needs approximately seven to 15 days, depending on the child’s individual needs.
• a child aged three to six would normally need between 10 to 20 days.
• a child over six years would need approximately 15 to 60 days.

All these timescales are a rough guide as the child’s needs vary.

When will they take place?

The adoptive family will normally visit the child’s foster home. These visits will be at different times of the day and will focus on meal and bed time and accompanying the child with the foster carer on outdoor activities.

On the first visit to the adopters’ or permanent family’s home with the child and foster carer, no other child should be present. This may include an overnight stay.

What do I need to think about?

A clear timetable is agreed by all parties involved in the child’s development, including flexibility and commitments. Central to this process is making sure emotional support is given to the child while being sensitive to others.

Introductions should be made at the child’s pace. Let the child bring their favourite toy or personal item. Information sharing about the child’s favourite food, bedtime routines, toys and interests should be passed onto the adopters or permanent family. This will make the child feel at ease as they may be reluctant to take part in changes to their routine.

How can I find out more?

Contact the Adoption team.